London Men
by Herr Fritz
Summary: By picking up this brochure, you have expressed your intrest in learning the types of romantic males London has to offer...


**This is quite a bit different then the things I normally write, but it was a collaboration between a friend and I, and they beseeched that I publish this here on Fanfiction. I'd be more than happy to pass reviews on to my friend, to share that warm, fuzzy feeling with them ; ) .**

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Hello! By picking up this brochure, it can be assumed that you are a young woman in London looking for a potential man.

Sometimes, you believe, it can be tricky to start a courtship with a man, not knowing if what he is initiating is a friendship, or something more.

It's well known knowledge that methods of courting differ from man to man. Some people work well going the fast track, whereas others prefer to move at a slower pace. Some men are Don Juans, suavely courting everyone of the opposite (and sometimes same) gender. Some are so shy they have trouble speaking to their therapy puppets.

It's often not enough to merely recognize that fact; however. To tag the right partner, you need to be able to analyze what courtship patterns look like for different kinds of men. This way, upon identification, you'll be able to better recognize when the other's relationship with you has turned romantic. Some example analyses of cases are provided below, along with terms and warnings for reference to possible types of London men.

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Name: The Sherlock Holmes

History of Relationships: Little history from what you can tell. You sometimes wonder if he's interested in people at all.

Spends his time: Analyzing. Experimenting. Heaven forbid he's not _eating_ or _sleeping_, like normal people.

How to Know if You're Ready for a Relationship with Him: You don't mind being second-tier to his work, his mind, his best friend, his obsession with hunting down consulting criminals, and his creepy human skull.

Courtship cliché: People are normal. Boring, dull, tedious, idiotic. You're only _slightly _less idiotic.

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Name: John Watson

History of Relationships: One or two serious relationships, but an ongoing firtationship with just about any female he meets.

Spends his time: Doing whatever his flatmate insists of him.

How to Know if You're Ready for a Relationship with Him: You're prepared to take charge in the relationship and are willing to listen to him drone on for hours about his amazing flatmate.

Courtship cliché: Um…er…I was- um- wondering if you might like to…you know…get a cup of coffee sometime?

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Name: The Lestrade

History of Relationships: Divorced, and now considers himself married to his work, for all the fervor he pours into it.

Spends his time: Working, encouraging others to work alongside him, doing field work, working overtime, and bringing his work home.

How to Know if You're Ready for a Relationship with Him: You can either break him out of his work habit, or can live alongside him, absorbed in your own work.

Courtship cliché: Would you like to work the overtime shift with me? I think Donovan was supposed to, but…

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Name: The Mycroft Holmes

History of Relationships: The only women he's ever been close to are his mother and his work assistant. And heaven knows he'd never pull anything with either of them!

Spends his time: Preventing world crises, manipulating, diplomating, ticking off is brother.

How to Know if You're Ready for a Relationship with Him: You're positive that you're unmanipulatable, and it wouldn't ruffle your feathers to discover you're under constant surveillance.

Courtship cliché: I worry about you. _Constantly._

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Name: The Jim Moriarty

History of Relationships: One short office romance. You don't know, though. Sometimes he seems like he might be gay…

Spends his time: Consulting. That's all he tells you. You find this extremely strange, seeing that he doesn't have an accounting license.

How to Know if You're Ready for a Relationship with Him: If you don't mind his weird voice imitations, and his near-constant reference to himself as 'daddy'.

Courtship cliché: Roses are red, violets are blue. I have three highly-trained snipers focused in on you. _Get in the van._


End file.
